Surfing on an Ocean of Tears
The baby born of innocence
Was it meant to be?
So precious, so kind, so beautiful
The little boy with crew cut always
A loving soul misunderstood?
A life of denial, rejection and obtuseness
The protector of those who could not defend
Did you knowingly take on the task?
More courage than the fiercest lion could ever know
The boy-man lost and forgotten
Is it any wonder you were caught in the riptide?
Never knowing where to go, who to ask
A shadow floating thru the translucent swells
Did you find any peace on those voyages?
Temporary intoxications always provide temporary euphoria
The phantom trapped within the small void
Didn’t you have an escape hatch?
Probably not—the door was locked from the inside
A victim of the times and the selfishness of others
What were you dreaming?
The answers will never be known
The knight in the night
Why did you leave to become someone else?
Because you could be the crowned king
The spirit which so longed to belong
How long were you adrift in the vastness?
Forever, lost in an ocean of darkness
The essence always seeking but never finding
Why did you not find a way up from the bottom?
Trapped under the weighty pressure, you couldn’t
Having the heart of a blue whale and wanting love
Why did you reject the love of those who loved you?
You never believed and so swam to other shores
The psyche tightly sealed within a mussel
Could your armor have been pierced to reveal the pearl?
It’s easier to hold the suffering deep within
The intimidating image so full of presence
Why would you not know who you are?
You only needed to speak softly to be heard
The tortured soul without freedom, caged
Why did you have to suffer outside too?
Sometimes death is the salient cure
The ghost now freely roaming the earth and cheering the ‘skins
Are you happy? The body here on earth was just a disguise?
Now escaped, or released into heaven’s ocean forever
A son, brother, uncle, a friend, a lover
Have you come full circle? Where are you now?
Surfing on an ocean of tears?
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Perspective: Randomness
Randomness: if that's even a word--I just now realized what a random person I am. I have no one, no place, no nothing that has any significance to anyone or anything. I seem to have created the random me by always trying to do the right thing and trying to please other people. Unfortunately, by always presenting yourself as okay or just by trying to be helpful, people naturally come to assume you are always okay. Well, I'm not okay and I'm tired of being a random person. I'm tired of people not hearing what I say, I'm tired of people taking me for granted, I'm tired of being thought of last, and I'm tired of trying to make-up for past mistakes.
What the hell can I do about any of it anyway? Probably nothing but, I'm over it, I'm just over it. Sure, I was caught-up in the everyday bullshit of life just like everyone else, so my randomness did not even occur to me--I actually thought my life had meaning and purpose (there's that perception thing again). I am officially withdrawaling from the social human drama we call life. Don't worry about me, I'll be "okay". But, be on notice: I'm not going to cry anymore because people in your life are more important than me, I'm not going to try to be perfect because I don't care, I'm not going to be responsible because life IS unfair, I'm not coming to any one's aid so go find someone else, I'm not going to kiss any one's ass because I feel guilty and, most of all, I'm not going to be strong for anyone anymore. I hereby resign. If you need help, ask someone else.
Before I check-out from human interaction completely, here are a few things to consider when wandering around in daily life: 1) listen, really listen to anybody that is talking to you, 2) stop and think about what you really heard when you were listening and do something about it if you need to, 3) stop making random comments like "how are you today" or "work sucks" or "I have to have that new Beemer or house or iphone or whatever" as it's unbecoming and materialistic, 4) don't be afraid to talk to someone about their personal situation, 5) if the thought crosses your mind to help someone, help them, don't just think about it, 6) don't ignore people when they ask you for a favor because it is inconvenient, 7) if someone owes you something and they pay it back begrudgingly, forget about it, it's not worth it, 9) take people seriously, and 10) volunteer, it's worth it.
I've always tried to do the right thing but, either my judgment is off, or it wasn't the right thing to begin with--life is a black hole we are always trying to climb out of and not a glassy pond we can just land on and stay afloat. I do feel like a mosquito, a pesky creature that no one knows how to deal with and is just an irritation. Most people do not like to deal with intimate situations because it makes them uncomfortable and most don't have the verbal skill set anyway, unfortunately. However, having experienced coming from the side of wanting and needing personal and intimate communication, here's number 11) don't be afraid to talk to people in need, be a friend and get past your own weaknesses and fears.
Random, according to the American Heritage Dictionary is "Having no specific pattern or purpose." This is the perspective and epitome of me.
Love and peace to all,
Withane
What the hell can I do about any of it anyway? Probably nothing but, I'm over it, I'm just over it. Sure, I was caught-up in the everyday bullshit of life just like everyone else, so my randomness did not even occur to me--I actually thought my life had meaning and purpose (there's that perception thing again). I am officially withdrawaling from the social human drama we call life. Don't worry about me, I'll be "okay". But, be on notice: I'm not going to cry anymore because people in your life are more important than me, I'm not going to try to be perfect because I don't care, I'm not going to be responsible because life IS unfair, I'm not coming to any one's aid so go find someone else, I'm not going to kiss any one's ass because I feel guilty and, most of all, I'm not going to be strong for anyone anymore. I hereby resign. If you need help, ask someone else.
Before I check-out from human interaction completely, here are a few things to consider when wandering around in daily life: 1) listen, really listen to anybody that is talking to you, 2) stop and think about what you really heard when you were listening and do something about it if you need to, 3) stop making random comments like "how are you today" or "work sucks" or "I have to have that new Beemer or house or iphone or whatever" as it's unbecoming and materialistic, 4) don't be afraid to talk to someone about their personal situation, 5) if the thought crosses your mind to help someone, help them, don't just think about it, 6) don't ignore people when they ask you for a favor because it is inconvenient, 7) if someone owes you something and they pay it back begrudgingly, forget about it, it's not worth it, 9) take people seriously, and 10) volunteer, it's worth it.
I've always tried to do the right thing but, either my judgment is off, or it wasn't the right thing to begin with--life is a black hole we are always trying to climb out of and not a glassy pond we can just land on and stay afloat. I do feel like a mosquito, a pesky creature that no one knows how to deal with and is just an irritation. Most people do not like to deal with intimate situations because it makes them uncomfortable and most don't have the verbal skill set anyway, unfortunately. However, having experienced coming from the side of wanting and needing personal and intimate communication, here's number 11) don't be afraid to talk to people in need, be a friend and get past your own weaknesses and fears.
Random, according to the American Heritage Dictionary is "Having no specific pattern or purpose." This is the perspective and epitome of me.
Love and peace to all,
Withane
Monday, October 12, 2009
Perspective and Decision Making
Well, here it is--the virgin post. My blog is about perspective. My perspective, of course. As the old saying goes "possession is nine tenths of the law" but, perspective is ten tenths of the law. That is, nothing else matters but my perspective when it comes to my view of the world or, more importantly, when I get to make the decisions. Of course, my decisions are based on my personal experiences, education and beliefs. The decision making process is the same for everyone; although, alas, we don't always make the right decisions.
Have you ever made a decision that you ultimately came to regret? We make hundreds of decisions everyday. Most of them are inconsequential like which route to take to work, to stop for coffee or not, or what to have for lunch. On the other hand, some decisions are life altering, the ramifications of which may not be known for a minute, a week, a month, a year or much longer. Do you ever stop and think about your life and the decisions you have made? Or, the decisions you will have to make sooner or later? From my experience, most of us do not stop often enough (or ever) to take the time necessary to connect the dots of the events of our lives or to think about the future. Such reflection would, however, help us gain perspective into our selves, our being and our purpose.
Perspective, according to the American Heritage dictionary means, "The technique of representing three-dimensional objects and depth relationships on a two-dimensional surface" or " The relationship of aspects of a subject to each other and to a whole" or "A point of view". Obviously, humans are multi-dimensional creatures so why do we view ourselves, our thinking and our lives as flat? Do we view ourselves like the flat people we receive in the mail just moving from activity to activity from day to day? When do the second and third dimensions of ourselves become realized?
For now, I would like to become a whole, three-dimensional (at least) person who understands the connectivity between what I do every second of the day and the people in my life. And, more importantly, I hope that whatever I do everyday in my life will bring happiness & peacefulness into the lives of those who cross my path. Hmmm...a realization...for each person I meet, my life gets fuller, I have reason to reflect, and my perspective changes!
Love & peace,
Withane
Have you ever made a decision that you ultimately came to regret? We make hundreds of decisions everyday. Most of them are inconsequential like which route to take to work, to stop for coffee or not, or what to have for lunch. On the other hand, some decisions are life altering, the ramifications of which may not be known for a minute, a week, a month, a year or much longer. Do you ever stop and think about your life and the decisions you have made? Or, the decisions you will have to make sooner or later? From my experience, most of us do not stop often enough (or ever) to take the time necessary to connect the dots of the events of our lives or to think about the future. Such reflection would, however, help us gain perspective into our selves, our being and our purpose.
Perspective, according to the American Heritage dictionary means, "The technique of representing three-dimensional objects and depth relationships on a two-dimensional surface" or " The relationship of aspects of a subject to each other and to a whole" or "A point of view". Obviously, humans are multi-dimensional creatures so why do we view ourselves, our thinking and our lives as flat? Do we view ourselves like the flat people we receive in the mail just moving from activity to activity from day to day? When do the second and third dimensions of ourselves become realized?
For now, I would like to become a whole, three-dimensional (at least) person who understands the connectivity between what I do every second of the day and the people in my life. And, more importantly, I hope that whatever I do everyday in my life will bring happiness & peacefulness into the lives of those who cross my path. Hmmm...a realization...for each person I meet, my life gets fuller, I have reason to reflect, and my perspective changes!
Love & peace,
Withane
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